We all know that NBC’s Savannah Guthrie thinks a few ballots here and there don’t add up to actual election problems – (they’re only anecdotal, Mr. President), but I keep thinking about our refi. Points here, fees there, one-time costs, the ability to fold things into a long-term mortgage, when all tolled up, add up to a helluva big nut to cover for the next 30 years. That’s a high price to pay for nickels and dimes – or anecdotal ballot-tossing by disgruntled postal workers (or crackheads) in battleground states. Which brings us to our Week in Ballot Shenanigans!
This week in dumpster diving, “bins of ballots” were found dumped in a house under construction in Louisville, Kentucky. But don’t worry, Savannah, there were only 100 or so anecdotal ballots found dumped, potentially disenfranchising those 100 anecdotal people. Louisville law enforcement will turn the case over to the feds when they’re done investigating.
Elsewhere, a garbage man saw a few anecdotal ballots trickle out of an eight-yard dumpster he was dumping and notified the media and the post office. The mail carrier believed it was stolen mail. The garbage man, who describes himself as a patriot, said he just wants everyone’s ballots to count. “I’d be terrified if my name was on that ballot.”
Elsewhere in Utah, ballots rushed through the printing process to 13,000 voters (that’s just anecdotal, Mr. President) in Sanpete County, were missing the crucial line that election officials constantly insist is the fool-proof way to determine whether it’s you who’s voting – the signature line.
Oops. But don’t worry, election officials say that voters who don’t intuitively know to sign the back of the envelope, where there’s no space to do so, will have their unsigned ballots accepted anyway and “do everything they can to verify the voter.” At the worst, this could mean that they won’t require the one little thing that was supposed to prevent voter impersonation – a verifiable signature.
In the battleground state of Pennsylvania, my PJ Media colleague Rick Moran reports that elections officials have rejected mail-in ballot requests for 372,000 people. But things may not be what they seem. Moran reports most of those voters “didn’t realize” that they made two requests for ballots. There seems to be much more to the story, such as the specter of purposeful chaos.
The story making the rounds in the last couple of weeks about scores of ballots being dumped in Petaluma, Calif., turned out to be scores of ballot envelopes from 2018. USA Today says they were properly disposed of. If you’re keeping track, you can mark this one off your list of ballot shenanigans.
While Savannah blustered about only anecdotal ballots, there is the matter of the media in-kind donations. Take the televised “Town Hall” TV events, for example. The Thursday night spectacles did not consist of undecided or dispassionate voters. They appeared to be seat-fillers from DNC Central Casting. The VMA’s, Grammys, and Academy Awards all have seat-fillers for loo-going stars and, it appears, so do the networks for the bizarre, stage-crafted interlocution between Trump-haters and the president and fluffers and Biden.
We can imagine how the phone calls went to get Trump questioners.
Savannah: Hey, so do you know, like, anyone who would want to ask Trump questions tomorrow night?
Friend: Heck yes, me! I’d love to ask that bastard some pointed questions.
Savannah: Can we put you down as an undecided voter?
Friend: Tell them anything you want, I just want to get that Orange Man.
Savannah: Make sure you leave your pink pu**y hat at home, ‘kay?
Things were probably a bit more straightforward for George Stephanopoulos, however. We can see an imaginary scenario in which he went to his own contact list and started texting.
George: Dude, are you available to come on and tee up some nice gofer balls for Joe tomorrow night?
Former Obama administration speech writer: Sure, man. What issue does he need help with getting out there?
George: Anything that isn’t Hunter Biden-related.
Former Obama administration speech writer: Got it. Send a car for me?
George: You bet, bro.
Two of the questioners at Thursday night’s, ahem, “Town Hall” with Joe Biden were connected to democratic operatives who plan to vote for ol’ Joe. Fox News reports that one questioner, Nathan Osburn, is a former speechwriter for the Obama administration. The network listed Osburn’s work as “communications” in the chyron under his shot.
Another questioner is the wife of a Pennsylvania Democrat Party organizer. She asked about their transgender child and whether Joe would throw her into a den of lions as Trump would. Fox News reports that ABC News listed the woman’s occupation as a physical therapist. But Mieke Haeck is also the wife of the head of a Democrat group in Pennsylvania. Wow. What are the chances?
Does Joe have to report these as in-kind donations during the next FEC reporting period?
Senator Ted Cruz is asking that question on Capitol Hill with respect to Twitter and Facebook’s censoring of the blockbuster Joe and Hunter Biden pay-for-play story in which Biden-the-younger appears to sell access to his dad to China and Ukraine for tens of millions of dollars.
Cruz says, “Twitter and Facebook and big tech billionaires don’t get to censor political speech and actively interfere in the election.”
The Republican National Committee is also calling on the Federal Elections Commission to investigate “whether Twitter’s actions amount to an illegal corporate in-kind contribution.”
We’ll keep an eye on this story.
Finally, for this week in Ballot Shenanigans, Democrats are getting vewy, vewy upset at the Republicans in Orange County, Calif., for doing nearly exactly what Democrats did in 2018 when they swept a number of congressional seats there. Since California Democrats made ballot harvesting legal in 2016, Orange County Republicans this time around determined that what was sauce for the goose was sauce for the gander and commenced a more efficient way of ballot harvesting.
Immediately, Democrats whined to their personal point man in Sacramento – the secretary of state – who issued a demand that Republicans remove ballot boxes the GOP had set up to receive ballots – everyone’s ballots.
Republicans aren’t buying the fake outrage. GOP spokesman Hector Barajas told CBS LA that the rules don’t preclude mail-box like repositories for ballots by private organizations – like the Republican Party.
The Democrat anger is overblown. In California, where you can have convicted felons and individuals with a criminal history go door-to-door and collect ballots from voters, Democrats are now upset because organizations, individuals and groups are offering an opportunity for their friends, family, and patrons to drop off their ballot with someone they know and trust. If we wanted to use a Santa bag, we could. A locked heavy box seems a lot safer.
Until next week.